Tuesday, January 7, 2020

I Don't "Look the Type"...

Within a few days, I knew I was in real trouble. It appeared that the giant and his sidekick that controlled the left side of my body had settled in to stay. I never knew when or where I'd be frozen and squeezed half to death. It could be every 10 minutes or a few hours in between; I was scared to pick 3 year old Hannah up for fear I'd drop her, I was scared to drive, hell, I was scared to stand up!

I began to refer to the episodes as "fits" for lack of a better term and soon enough, I wound up in the ER. Maybe I was having mini strokes - test results negative. Maybe I was having seizures - test results negative. Let's do blood work and have to wait 9 years for the results - concerning. Finally, the doctor comes back in and says they need to rerun blood work because the first test results showed positive for every single illegal drug known to man and I just didn't "look the type". I don't even drink alcohol. Obviously, 2nd blood test showed nothing at all unusual.

Apparently I did look like the type of person that might have panic attacks. Could that be it? Was I  stressed? Did I have a history of mental illness? This was the first of many, many times that was discussed and man did it piss me off! Why yes, I am stressed now, wouldn't you be? But I'm not crazy, my mom had me tested!

Of course, I didn't have a single "fit" in the many hours I was at the ER so...go home they said and follow up with your family doctor on Monday. In the meantime, take this anti-seizure medication that turns you into a zombie. So. Much. FUN!


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